Why God Would Never Receive Tenure:

1. He had only one major publication.
   

2. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
   

3. Some even doubt that he wrote it himself.
   

4. It may be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
   

5. His cooperative efforts have been limited.
   

6. The scientific community has had a hard time reproducing his results.
   

7. He never applied to the Ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
   

8. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
   

9. When subjects didn't behave as expected, he deleted them from the sample.
   

10. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
    

11. Some say he had his son teach the class.
    

12. He expelled his first two students.
    

13. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
    

14. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountian top.